Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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