So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
