Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
