At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
