Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
