its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
