Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
