My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
