What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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