You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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