Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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