Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I want to fling myself into the sun
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize