I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
