dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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