There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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