addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
