He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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