Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
