Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
