When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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