just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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