he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
