this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
