why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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