Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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