I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
