Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my shit smells like andre
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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