Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Semen is not good for contacts.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
