Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
