You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
