My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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