Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize