i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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