They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
