is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize