the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
