He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
