The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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