okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
