Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
my liver is dry heaving
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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