I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The uberlube is also flammable
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
