It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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