Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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