my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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