Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
