yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
