She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
