Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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