I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
it's like iHOP with fire
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
