Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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