You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
