ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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