I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We have so much sex to catch up on
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
