What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
