im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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