Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She announced her abortion via fbk
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
