Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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