Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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