Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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