he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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