Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
organizing the empties. That sober.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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