Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
