Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM

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(815): View more from Illinois

I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.

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(807): View more from Ontario

yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?

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(904): View more from Florida

I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.

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(310): View more from California

Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

It's amazing

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs

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(492): View more from

Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?

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(928): View more from Arizona

I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.

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