No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
