Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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