she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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