i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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