please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize