Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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