I'd wear matching sweaters with you
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
