I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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