ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
